Archive | January 29, 2010

Fiction Friday – 29th Jan

For the second time, I thought I’d have a go at Fiction Friday (nearly everyone in the office is out at a meeting so I’ve had the time.)

Fiction Friday comes from the Write Anything blog here.   The rules are:

  • Spend at least 5 minutes composing something original based on the theme or challenge.
  • But, remember, no editing. This is to inspire creativity not stifle it.
  • On Friday, simply post what you wrote to your own blog.
  • Today’s prompt is

    For the last nine years a wife has forgotten her husband’s birthday. The tenth time, he snaps…

    Here’s my (totally unedited – so ignore the spelling and punctuation) effort:

    After breakfast and not a word from Suze about the day, Tim stormed upstairs.  He couldn’t believe it, every year.  She could remember their anniversary, his mum’s birthday and it seemed every other important date on the calendar, but not his birthday. 

    For the last few years it had started to get to him, did she not care enough to remember?  Even his best friend remembered.  Tim suspected he did that on purpose, just to make Suze look bad – they’d never got on that well.  If his best friend could remember, surely his wife should be able to.  Especially after 10 years. 

    He sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands.  Was he blowing this out of all proportion?  The boys down the pub laughed at the situtation, it was always them that forgot their wife’s birthdays, and the wives that remembered.  Maybe he should be married to one of them instead.

    For the last couple of days he’d been saying to himself that he’d leave if she didn’t remember.  He loved her with all his heart, but if she couldn’t remember something so important.  It was just thoughts, he knew he’d never leave her, but it wasn’t good having these thoughts. 

    Actually, no.  He was going to leave her.  Just for the night. Or the weekend.  He’d go to Bob’s for a couple of days.  The kids were with Jayne that weekend, so they could have a proper boys weekend.  Yeah, that would teach Suze a lesson. 

    Tim jumped up quiclky, grabbed a bag and started packing a few essentials.  He knew he had to do it quickly before he changed his mind.  He pulled the bedroom door open with excessive force, and watched as it slammed against the wall.  That would be a job for him for next weekend. 

    He leapt towards the bathroom, knowing he had to hurry, this thought was already waning away from this leaving thing.  When he got to the bathroom he stopped.  Something was wrong.  He racked his brains trying to work out what.  The bathroom looked exactly like it had when he’d been in there every morning and evening this week. 

    The front door.  It was open.  Although it was July and the house was quite hot, even at this early hour, they never left the front door.  He walked back to the top of the stairs and looked down.  It was closed.

    ‘Suze?’  He shouted.  Nothing.  Strange.  Wairely Tim started walking down.  He thought he heard voices coming from the living room.  TV?  Suze didn’t usually put it on in the morning.  When he got to the bottom he pressed his ear against the closed door.  There were murmered voices coming from behind it.  Puzzeled he slowly opened the door to see all his friends and family standing around talking.  Oh no… They didn’t….

    At the end of the room Suze saw him, her face lit up and she shouted

    ‘SURPRISE!’. 

    I’d love to hear what you think of it.  Positive and negative comments welcomed 🙂

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