What’s Hidden Beyond – Fiction Friday 12th March

Ok, I may have got a little carried away with it this week.  The rules for Fiction Friday are at the bottom – but before you read it, remember it’s unedited.  I hope you like it.


What’s hidden beyond.

The keys opened every door in the house, except the small wooden door at the end of the hall.  Jenny had been wondering about that room since they looked round the first time.  Mike had told her she’d imagined it, but she knew it was there.

When they went back the second time Jenny had been ecstatic she’d been right about it, she knew she wasn’t loosing the plot, but Mike always thought he was right.

The agent had said there wasn’t a key on his chain, but he’d make sure the owners gave it to them when they handed over all the keys.  Obviously he hadn’t. 

The door was totally out of character for the house, everything was modern, bright and new, but the door looked like it had been there since the house was built in the mid 60s.  It was half the size of a normal door, maybe about 3 feet high.

‘Maybe Harry lives there?’ Jenny joked.  Mike looked at her blankly, she’d forgotten he wasn’t interested in Harry Potter or anything like that.  Neither was she, but she’d heard he lived in a cupboard under the stairs.  ‘Never mind’ she muttered.  ‘What shall we do about it?’ 

He looked at her, then around the hall, with boxes scattered everywhere.  When his gaze returned to her, he had a glint in his eye. 

‘Well, as the removal men have gone, I think we should christen our new home…’  He grinned like a school kid and, ignoring her protests about no linen on the beds yet, grabbed her hand and ran upstairs. 

Lying on the bed later, Jenny propped herself up on her elbows and looked at Mike.  He sighed. 

‘I don’t know what’s in the room.’ He said. 

‘How did you…?’ 

‘Jen, we’ve been together three years.  I know when you get something in your head you’re not going to drop it.’  She smiled at him and shrugged.  She figured it wasn’t a bad characteristic to have.

‘I’ve been thinking about it myself.  It’s under the stairs, so either it’s a tiny cupboard, or it leads down to a cellar.’

‘You don’t think it could lead to a mysterious land?’ He playfully hit her. 

‘Come on, lets have a look.’

‘How?’  He bent over the side of the bed and started rummaging around in boxes.

‘Aha.  With this.’  She looked at it blankly. 

‘What is it?’ He grinned.

‘A skeleton key.  It works on most locks, so should do on that one.  Even though it probably is very old.’  Jenny hugged him and jumped up to put some clothes on. 


With a little bit of jiggling, Mike was right, the key did open the lock.  Jenny moved to open it, before Mike put his arm out to block her way

‘Stop right there my Princess.  I must protect you from whatever is behind the door.’  They exchanged grins, but she took a step back. 

Slowly Mike opened the door, Jenny was torn between screaming at him to open it quicker, and screaming at him to stop it and close it forever. 

He stuck his head round the door.

‘It’s dark.’

‘No shit Sherlock.  Where’s the torch?’

‘On the table behind us’.’

He opened the door a little more so they could both see in before turning the torch on. 

It was a tiny one foot by one foot box room, the walls were bare.  Mike moved the torch to the floor, there was no floor. 

‘What…?’ Jenny began.

‘It goes down, look, there’s a ladder on that side.’ He showed her to the left.  ‘You go down first.’  She shook her head and took another step back.

‘Uh uh.  No way.  You’re the man you go first.’


‘Yep.  I am.  But I’m not going down there first.’  He sighed. 

‘I really think you should…’  Defiantly she shook her head. 

‘Fine.  I’ll go first then.’  Jenny relaxed.  She couldn’t believe he’d wanted her to go first.  They had no idea what might be down there.  She was picturing dead bodies, and insects.  Worse still huge spiders. 

Mike turned off the torch, put it in his mouth and maneuvered himself to be able to climb down the ladder. 

‘Do you want me to hold the torch?’  She asked.  He shook his head.  A chill went down her back.  There would be no way in the world she’d go down there without looking before, and having a light to lead the way. 

Fifteen seconds later he called from the hole.

‘Come on.  Your turn. We’ll check it out together.’  She froze.  He couldn’t possibly think she’d go down there without him looking round first?

‘Turn the light on, look round.  Tell me what’s there.’ 

‘Nope, we’ve got to do this together.  Come on.  I’ll guide you down.’  Jenny stood there for what seemed like an age.  She was terrified of going down there, but knew how stubborn Mike could be, he’d probably look round and never tell her what was there.

‘I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.  I promise.’  She knew he would protect her, so made her decision.  First she bent down.  She took a deep breath of the cellar air. Nothing, it wasn’t even damp.  That was good.  No dead bodies, no rot or decaying creatures. 

She then stopped breathing for as long as she could.  The silence was immense.  That mean there were no rats, or large creatures.  She had to do this, or she’d regret it forever. 

She turned and started her decent.

‘I’m here.’ Mike said as he touched her leg for reassurance.  She made it down much slower than Mike had done, with each step she was trying to silence the voices in her head that were asking what the hell she was doing. 

When she hit the bottom Mike’s hands disappeared.  She screamed.


‘I’m right here Darling.  I just need you to stay there just a second.  Turn round to the direction of my voice.’

With the sound of her quicken heartbeat deafening out her inner voice she slowly turned. 

A match was struck about a foot in front of her.  Mike was close.  She relaxed a little.  He was smiling at her in the light of the match.  He turned and moved the match away from him.  Beyond it she couldn’t see anything.

The match moved down to waist height, it burnt a little brighter for a second before moving again, leaving another fire where it had been.  It took Jenny a while to realise Mike had just lit a candle.  She watched the match move and light another and another. 

The resulting light revealed a table with two chairs, cutlery, wine glasses and a bottle of champagne in a holder by the side.

Jenny gasped.  She looked at Mike.  He’d dropped to his knees.  Tears sprung into Jenny’s eyes. 

‘Jen, I love you.  This whole not getting married thing is stupid, I’m stupid.  Please forgive me.  Let’s live in this house as a married couple, not just partners.  Will you?  Will you marry me?’

Didn’t think it would go that far when I started it.  I also thought it was going to go another way.  Until they opened the door, it was going to be something nasty below (probably dead bodies), but then I decided I wanted a nice story, not a distrurbing one. 

Fiction Friday:  Spend at least 5 minutes composing something original based on the theme or challenge.  But, remember, no editing. This is to inspire creativity not stifle it.  On Friday, simply post what you wrote to your own blog.

I can’t wait to see what other people have done.

6 thoughts on “What’s Hidden Beyond – Fiction Friday 12th March

    • I’m glad you thought that. I was trying to keep the proposal a secret until the last paragraph – something my writing course tutor told me I need to do with ‘twist in the tale’ stories. Yay – it worked.

  1. A great twist on what held good suspense and tension for most of the piece.
    You have established a good relationship between the characters which could be developed.
    The fear and apprehension of the dark tunnel was very well achieved.
    Good stuff.

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