Fiction Friday – The Bad Idea

Well, on the 3rd attempt at this prompt I found something that wasn’t sex related, or way too personal to post. So here we go, a very short, but hopefully a little fun piece taken from the following prompt from Write Anything:

“I knew it was a mistake the moment it was over.”

 

          I knew it was a mistake the moment it was over, but I knew I hadn’t had a choice. I’d been compelled. I tried not to, but my body ignored my mind and went ahead and did it.

          I wasn’t sure what the repercussions would be? I was only answering to myself, but that was bad enough. It had been fun, no magical, no amazing. It had been the best thing I’d done in the last… wow, maybe three months. I’d pay for it somehow, but wow, it was so worth it!

          I got up off the park bench, brushed the crumbs off my skirt and threw the cake wrapper in the bin, knowing the diet would continue from that moment.  

Guess who’s got a diet on her mind! I wanted to make it a little longer, to build the suspense a little more, but it seemed like a good place to end it there. Let me know what you think, please. And have a good weekend!

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11 thoughts on “Fiction Friday – The Bad Idea

  1. This piece is very short, as you mentioned. As a result, I did”t feel a connection to the character like I often get with your Fiction Friday pieces.

    I think you did a very nice job of building suspense in the first two paragraphs. By the time I reached the third, my curiosity was piqued.

  2. Hi there…I did laugh, thanks for the comment and tip. I wasn’t sure what to write either…and ended up with the diet (or not) option rather than more personal options! LOL

    Keep writing…I’ve written mostly offline but have just decided to venture online…will look forward to your other [fiction] Friday offers.

    Kathy

  3. This has the feel of a good comic sketch you might see on tv, where you set up an expectation, only to have it challenged or undermined.
    The brevity works well; expanding it might have detracted.
    When I thought of a sexual mishap as a story line, all I could think of was an image of a condom being accidentally flicked like a rubber band. Too much? Might leave that idea well alone.
    Good, brief piece.

  4. I think many of us went to the sex as a mistake idea first. It also looks like a lot of people went to “the next best thing.” Very fun.

  5. Not sure how you managed surprise ending in just a few paragraphs, but you did. I also had trouble veering away from the sexual or tmi personal. When I finally did, something came to me. It’s a hard trick. Great snippet.

  6. Such is my own adventures with dieting and exercise. I love to exercise, but I love to eat.

    Word of advice – don’t be scared to write about things sex related or things too personal. It’s dipping into your own personal experiences that make your writing better (and easier).

  7. Thank you all for your comments. I shortened this story to 420 characters and used it to enter Rowan Coleman’s Status Short Story Competition last week – and was a runner up – yay!

  8. Pingback: My First ‘Win’ « Newtowritinggirl's Blog

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