#FictionFriday 10th Sep – Kate gets ‘Embrangled’

Yep, Kate’s (MC from my novel Holiday – which is a working title) back again for this week’s story. The prompt from the lovely peeps at WriteAnything:

Use one or more of these words  in your story (but resist the temptation to look them up first!)

  • Periapt
  • Vilipend
  • Embrangle

I was actually a good girl and managed to resist the temptation to look them up first. Here’s the story:

‘Hey! Look at those guys over there. They’re fiiiiiittt.’

‘How can you poshibly shay that? You’re pished! You probabably can’t even she them properly,’ I reply, or rather try to reply to her. For some reason my mouth isn’t responding to what my brain’s trying to tell it. Sod it, she knows what I mean.

‘But they are! Look!’ She points across the road. Ok. I know I’m pissed, I can’t see them properly! ‘Hey there sexy boys!’ Oh my god I’m going to die. Did she just do that?

‘SSSShhhhhhhh.’ I hit her arm, while moving so my back’s to the men across the road. ‘You’re going to embrangle us!’ She collapses on the floor in hysterics.

‘Embrangle us. Ha ha. I’m going to embrangle us.’ I start laughing now too. What’s up with my mouth.        

When I can speak again, I try again. ‘You’re going to embarrass us Stephanie,’ I say putting on a posh voice. It takes a lot of effort, but I’m pretty sure I pull it off. Steph’s giggles hadn’t subsided, and after my posh voice they get louder and louder. It makes me laugh too.

I give up trying to hold myself upright and collapse onto the floor with her. We sit like that for ages. Every time one of us stops laughing, we look at the other one, and it starts again. We’re both crying by the time Steph can get a word out.

‘Do you know what ‘’Embrangle’’ means?’ I shake my head.

‘I’m guessing not embarrass?’ She shakes her head.

‘Look it up!’

‘What? You have to tell me!’ I punch her, but she continues to laugh.

‘I thought I recognised those laughs.’ Both our heads snap up to the huge man standing above us. Maybe he’s not huge, it’s just that we’re sat down. In fact I know he’s not huge. It’s Dan!

‘Danny boy!’ I shout maybe a little louder that I intended to, and jump up to hug him. I say jump up, what I mean is desperately try grappling around on the floor to get into a position where I’m able to pull my half dead body up off the pavement.

I fail so Dan leans down and pulls me up and into a hug.

‘Has someone been drinking a little too much?’ He releases me, makes sure I’m going to stay up straight (I wouldn’t bet on it) and leans down to help Steph up. I watch this movement carefully. There’s history there and although they both say it was one night, nothing else, I have my doubts.

‘Steph, it’s been a while. How are you?’ He kisses her on the cheek and I swear she blushes a little. Maybe it’s just the alcohol flush. Hmmm. I dunno.

‘So where have you two been tonight?’ I notice he asks Steph not me. Something twinges inside me. It’s not jealously. I know it’s not, but something. Maybe it is, she’s so pretty and pulls all the time, but Dan’s mine. Not mine, mine, but my friend. She can’t take him off me. Them together would be horrendous. They’d both want to talk about the other and I’d hear both sides. And try to stay on the outside. No, that can’t happen.

‘What?’ They’re both looking at me as if I’m mad.

‘Did you just hear a word Steph just said? It looked like you were in your own little world then.’ Dan pulls me into a hug and kisses the top of my head. In my drunk state it briefly passes through my head that this is the most comfortable place in the world. But it is brief because I have to pull away so I miss his shoes when I throw up.

I do apologise for the last line, I just couldn’t think of any way to end it, then that popped into my head and I couldn’t get it out.

Please let me know what you think.


11 thoughts on “#FictionFriday 10th Sep – Kate gets ‘Embrangled’

  1. I like it! I imagine “you” are wearing braces or something of the sort that’s hindering your speech. I would have liked to see you carry on the pronunciation of “ss” as “sh” through the whole story. Otherwise, very entertaining.

    • I hadn’t thought of the braces thing, no it was def just her slurring because she was drunk. You’re right, I should have followed that through the whole story – I think I forgot one I got onto her thoughts.
      Thanks so much for adding my link – turns out I do have the internet down here, but with limited access. Any time you’d like the favour reciprocated…

  2. I liked it, but as John above send, the pronunciation would have been nice if it had carried through the end.
    And as for the last line, I think it is good! Makes it sound more like the end of a chapter than a story. I would like to know if ‘you’ and Dan ever get it on.

    • Thanks Ingrid. You’re right, I should have carried it on. Next time I promise! You’re also right about it being the end of a chapter. This character is Kate who is the main character for the novel I’m writing. I’m using some of these Fiction Friday prompts to see more of her character in circumstances I wouldn’t usually place her in. Thank you for visiting and commenting.

  3. Very nice. I like the interaction between Dan & Kate. Seeing her thoughts on him, even in her drunken state, shows that there may be more there than friendship. The last line worked with the tone of the piece. If you had gotten much more serious I don’t think the humor would have worked so well.

    One quick question. This is the second post I’ve seen where the ” has been substituted with ‘ surrounding dialog. Is this some new rule I missed? I have been out of school for quite a while. Thanks.

    • Thank you. I’m always really happy when people say my writing is humorous, because I never think it is!

      My writing course said that the trend for speech marks has changed and you should only use one ‘ each side of dialogue now days. I can’t remember the reason, but it might be to save space? I might be getting muddled up with just one space after a full stop though.

  4. Very cute and descriptive. I like the way you’ve set up the “but he’s just a friend” kind of thing. And how you used the alcohol to reveal her true feelings. The ending is perfect, I think

  5. I was wondering when her true feelings would come out! Is Steph the one he picked up a while back, or just a friend of Kate’s? I liked the last line too, a bit of gratuitous vomiting never hurts.

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