Archive | September 24, 2010

Fiction Friday #174 – The School Dance

It took me ages to come up with something for this prompt. I knew what I wanted to do, but not how to get it in. Eventually I started writing a story where I knew I could get it in, but it took a while. I think it works how I wanted it to.

The Prompt this week is:

Use this lyric from Shore Leave to flavour your story: “Hong Kong drizzle on Cuban heels”

Here’s my (as always unedited) story from it:

           Jessica dared a look across at Will. Although they hadn’t come as a couple, she was hoping they’d go home as one. It was the natural next step. If he’d just ask her to dance, maybe she could get one step closer to making that a reality.

            He didn’t look at her, so she looked away. Maybe she’d completely miss read the situation. Oh god, maybe she had. What if he was there just as a friend, maybe this mystical foursome she’d been dreaming of for the last few weeks was exactly that – a dream.

            He had been really quiet tonight. Not that she knew him that well to know if he was always that quiet. She’d only really spoken to him a few times. The night Tina and Alex met, the time they went to the cinema together, that time at lunch and last Friday when they’d hung out in the park. He’d not been quiet that night. But then he had been drunk. They’d all been drunk.

            Alex looked much older than 17, with his fully grown beard, so had easily got served at the local off-licence. Apparently they quite often went to the park and got drunk. Her and Tina hadn’t done it so much – they both looked 17. Maybe even younger.            

            She couldn’t handle not saying anything so tried to think of something that would make her sound clever, funny and maybe a little sexy.

            ‘The weather’s terrible today isn’t it?’

            Unfortunately for Jess the moment she started shouting over the music, was the moment the band finished their song. Her face flamed as a couple of people from nearby tables sniggered. The applause from the rest of the room muted it out. She looked up shyly from her fringe to see Will smiling kindly at her. He reached over, placed his hand on the back of her chair and leaned closer to her.

            ‘That kind of thing usually happens to me.’ Jess giggled, he was so nice. So many people would’ve just laughed at her too. Just by saying that she feel for him a little more. Plus, this close, he smelt so good. ‘You know, there’s an expression for this kind of rain. It’s Hong Kong Drizzle…’

            ‘On Cuban Heals!’

            Jessica and Will sprang apart to see Tina and Alex standing just yards from them. They both looked at Tina questioningly.

            ‘The club?’

            ‘I told you it wasn’t.’ Alex gently knocked her arm with his.

            ‘I swear it is. Jess, you know the club we wanted to go to in town. The one your sister went to with that lifeguard.’

            ‘Oh!’ Jess remembered the club, it definitely wasn’t worth interrupting her chat with Will, especially when she’d got it wrong.. ‘The Mexican Sombrero.’

            ‘That’s it!’ She turned to Alex. ‘Told you.’

            ‘You got it wrong how is that telling me?’

            Jess and Will watched them drift back to the dance floor – still jokingly arguing with each other.

             ‘Hey, I’m really hot, do you fancy getting some fresh air?’ Jess didn’t, it was probably still raining, but if it meant going somewhere with Will, she sure did. ‘We can stay under the marquee. We don’t want to get your pretty dress wet, or hair wet. He leant over and picked up a stand of her hair. She felt like she could die with happiness right there and then with his closeness.

            ‘Yeah good plan,’ she said weakly.

            They stood up and Will placed his hand on her back, leading her to the door. The feel of his hand on her body sent tingled up and down her body.

            As they got to the door, his hand dropped. Before she had time to miss it, it had picked up her hand. He span her round so she was just inches from him. He was taller than he so she had to tilt her head to look in his eyes.

            The iciness of his eyes surprised her – they were like pools, she shivered slightly. She’d never noticed the colour before. In fact, she could’ve sworn they were green a minute ago.

            ‘I’ve got a better idea. Let’s get out of here completely. You’re all dressed up so we could go to a club in town?’

            Something in his eyes scared her, she wasn’t sure she wanted to be alone with him now. She turned and looked back into the room for Tina, but Will gently touched her chin to turn it back to him. He closed his eyes and bent and brushed his lips to hers. Her legs felt weak below her. WILL’S KISSED ME she wanted to scream out loud.

            ‘Shall we go?’ He put his arm round her and all doubts forgotten, she put hers round him and walked out the room. 

So, what do you think? Please let me know. I’d be really interested to hear what you think of Will. He was supposed to be this nice kid, but at the end I thought there might be something sinister about him (if I was a vampire kind of girl that’s what he would’ve been – luckily I’m not).


If you like my writing and would like to see more of it, I’ve just entered the Mills & Boon New Voices competiton. You can go have a look at my entry here: