Fiction Friday 175 – Another Holiday Instalment

The prompt from Write Anything today is: Lonely in Paradise, which happens to fit in really well with where I’m up to in ‘Holiday’. Here’s my next instalment of the Kate and Dan story (unedited):

            ‘You understand, don’t you?’ He looks at me intensely.

            ‘God yeah, of course.’ I put on a little laugh. ‘We wouldn’t have worked anyway, you and me? It’s a recipe for disaster. We found that out 10 years ago. Why would we go there again. We were just drunk the other night. It was just sex, nothing more. I hate it when people think sex means more than it does.’ I smile sharply and turn away.

            Why does it feel like my heart’s crumbling? It was just sex. So why does this feel so painful? The tears that have been threatening to fill my eyes make an appearance. I try to blink them away, but that causes one to drop down my cheek. I need to get out of here.

            ‘I’m just going to have a shower. That will wake me up.’

            ‘Kate are you ok?’

            ‘Yeah, yeah.’ At least my voice holds. ‘Just need to wake up you know. I’ve already wasted one day here, don’t want to waste another.’

            I quickly close the bathroom door behind me and fall to the floor where my vision blurs and the tears start to fall. I feel like someone’s just punched me. Honestly it’s like I’m hollow.

            There’s a noise outside which I presume to be him leaving the bedroom. Just in case it wasn’t I turn the shower on so I can sob without him hearing.

            What’s wrong with me? This time two days ago, I would’ve laughed at the idea of us being together. This time yesterday I was convinced it was a mistake. But if I think that, why am I so upset? Is it cause I’ve been questioning what if? What if it wasn’t a mistake? What if he did want something else? What would things be like? We’re older and more grown up now than we were the first time, what if we could make it happen this time?

            But no. Damn Jessica.

            No! It must just be the heat affecting my head. This is crazy. He’s my best friend. I don’t want anything from him. It’s just the rejection. That’s it. I’m still really sore from getting dumped by Ian, that another rejection has just pushed me back to that horrible place.

            I’d been doing so well up until just now. I’d almost forgotten about Ian – even before my night with Dan. I’m not going to let this push me back to the mess I’ve been the last few months. I’m here in Majorca, in this beautiful villa with my second favourite family in the world. There’s no way I’m going to let myself feel gutted, sad and alone. No. I’m going to go out there and have fun.

            Now I’ve decided this, the tears stop. I genuinely feel better. Well of course I do. I don’t want anything with Dan.

Even if he does have the most amazing body.

I was really torn with this prompt – should I use this scene, one from Italian Infatuation, just use half a story I wrote once about a woman on a tropical island or do a whole new one? Holiday won.

It’s probably for the best as I’ve now started this Novel Push Initiative. 250 words a day on Holiday. 1 day down, 29 to go.

Please let me know your thoughts on the story…

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10 thoughts on “Fiction Friday 175 – Another Holiday Instalment

  1. Aw, I felt for her. You wrote that in such a way that it made me really care for her and that’s a great thing to achieve in such a short snippet of a day in the life of a character. Part of me wanted Dan to go back into the room and tell her that he’d changed his mind.

  2. I like how you’ve brought Dan and Kate together and then pulled them back apart. It fulfills, but also prolongs the tension between the two characters, which makes the story so interesting.

    Kate’s emotional turmoil comes across well. I genuinely feel for her and her struggle.

  3. There’s a scene I suspect has played out in Majorca many times … well, to be honest everywhere as its a bit of a universal. You captured that awkwardness and “the ‘oh-s**t’ things will never be the same between us realization”perfectly.

  4. Appreciated the conversational style here “Honestly it’s like I’m hollow.” Enjoyed the exploration of that thing where we are all trying to be modern rational, self determining beings – then our instinct, chemistry and emotion take over and we realise we are more fallible than we hoped. Maybe that’s just me.

  5. Oh the dynamic struggles of relationships.
    Sorry I haven’t been around the Fiction Friday shenanigans for a while; I’ve missed reading people’s works.
    Love the voice you are developing in your writing. These characters are becoming more and more detailed. Wonderful.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  6. I like how she talks to herself. I do that (only out loud).All those questions and no concrete answers. Great job- looking forward to more!

  7. Thanks everyone for your comments (and Agatha for your ‘like’). These comments are getting me so excited about writing the novel, it’s so great hearing that people like what I’m writing, and want to hear more of it 🙂

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