Fiction Friday 22nd Oct – Dan The Hunter

Just for a change (!!) I thought I’d use Dan from my novel Holiday as the character for this. Somehow it involved drinking and women again. I know I keep doing this to him, but he is a nice guy, and even has a really good job!  

The prompt this week from Write Anything is After a long night, a hunter sees something he/she cannot believe. I’m quite proud of the way I used it! 

               ‘I’m just gonnna pop to the loo then we’ll head off, yeah?’

                ‘That sounds great Dan.’ The blonde put her hand on his arm and lent in close to his ear. ‘Hurry back sexy,’ she whispered.

                Dan jumped up suddenly wishing he was wearing a long t-shirt that covered the bulge in his trousers. Man he was so proud of himself, this one was hot, if only he could remember her name. Jessica maybe? Jayne? Jade? Maybe not even something beginning with J. He’d find a way of getting it out of her before the night was out. Or maybe, if he plays his cards right, the next morning.

                As he made his way through the crowded bar, squeezing between people, he heard someone calling his name. He turned round to see John from work.

                ‘John, mate. How you doing?’ They shook hands.

                ‘Good mate good. Who you here with? The other boys?’

                Dan turned back to look at his table and the blonde, but there were too many people between them.

                ‘I was, but I’ve just met the hottest girl ever. The boys went on, but I had to stay and chat to her.’ John slapped his back in congratulations.

                ‘So you’re taking her home to clinch the deal are you?’ Dan laughed.

                ‘NO, not at all. I’m taking her out for a curry. A ruby Murray.’ Dan faked a cockney accent that made John laugh.

                ‘And then home, right?’

                ‘Well, I hope so, but you never know. Man you should see her, she’s hot. All Britney like. You know before she went mental.’

                ‘They’re always hot where you’re concerned. Have you ever pulled a munter?’

                Dan laughed again. ‘Man, seriously. You’re so un-PC. Look I’ve gotta shoot, can’t leave the lady waiting too long!’

                ‘Sure mate. Have a good night.I look forward to hearing all about it on Monday.’

                They gave each other a man hug, competing to hit the other the hardest.

                ‘Whatever. You with Jen?’ John nodded. ‘Say hi to her. See you Monday.’

                Dan walked off towards the toilets. He had no more interruptions so was pushing his way back through the crowd in just a minute or two.

                As the crowd thinned, he thought he must have got back to the wrong table. There was a couple snogging at the table he thought he’d been at. He turned back to the crowd to try to get his bearings, but was sure that was the right table. He looked back to the table and realised the girl with her lips attached to the man, looked just like the girl he’d been chatting up. She had long blonde hair, and a sleeveless back top.             

                Could that be possible? Ok, so he’d not snogged her himself, but they were going out for some food. They were flirting outrageously, and she was giving him all the signs.

                Bemused, Dan raked his fingers through his hair and looked round the bar. Maybe it wasn’t her. But if it wasn’t, where was she? There were lots of blondes about, but no one that looked like her, some had short hair, some curly, some long ad straight like hers, but just not the same.

                The couple pulled apart. It was her. What the hell? The guy stood up and took the girl’s hand to pull her up. As they turned to leave the blonde looked at Dan and winked, before following the man out the bar.

                Dan moved back to the table and sat where the couple had just vacated. What had just happened? He picked up a beer mat and started playing with it. As he flicked it over he saw some writing.

                Jayne 07777 222111. Call me x

                Jayne. That was her name. But what the hell? He threw the beer mat on the chair next to him and got up to leave himself. He just didn’t understand women.

So what did you think? Hopefully it’s obvious, but Dan was the hunter – he was out hunting for women. Ha ha.


5 thoughts on “Fiction Friday 22nd Oct – Dan The Hunter

  1. I loved the twist at the end. Definitely not what you would expect coming back from the bathroom. I can’t help it, I like this girl, the way she turned the tables on him.

  2. I’m not sure who’s worse. Him for his “one night stand” thoughts or her for the way she dropped him for a different guy. You definitely evoke some strong feelings with this piece.

  3. Cute little slap to the ego there. Liked the feel of the club too… where can I find it? Your story sparked lots of fresh ideas for me and that’s always a good sign. Thanks.

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